Southern Decadence in the French Quarter

Save up your spoons for this one!

TL:DR

SD is where my ADHD wars with my other neurospicy parts and ends up winning for a few hours before I seek the comfort of air conditioning for the rest of the night. If your novelty-seeking parts demand a sacrifice in the beginning of September then SD is the way to go. But, save up your spoons because it’s going to test all of your senses and your capacity for discomfort. You’re probably going to want to have a low key day on Labor Day to recover. But…where else are you going to be handed a penis keychain by someone in head-to-toe sequins and feathers?

Beautiful costume!

Can you imagine how hot they are? This is dedication!

When people ask me about what to expect at Southern Decadence I typically respond “you know how Pride is marketed as a family-friendly event? Southern Decadence IS NOT!” Southern Decadence (SD) is a multi-day LGBTQIA+ party that happens in the French Quarter over Labor Day weekend.

It’s a weekend-long party and there are all kinds of things to get into with private events or just bar hopping in the French Quarter. For me, SD is limited to the Sunday afternoon parade because my tolerance for heat is limited. The parade is lots of fun – the costumes are incredible, the crowd is joyful and supportive, everyone is there to have a good time. Well, everyone except the small section of religious jerks who like to hang out in the streets with offensive signs. They are there to try to ruin everyone’s good time. It can be a good time to watch the crowd heckle these freaks – clearly they must have some sort humiliation kink or they wouldn’t keep showing up (not to kink-shame - if that’s your then then just hop onto Fetlife like everyone else). Maybe we should all stop heckling and Domming them for free so they have to pay to get off? IDK, that’s a decision for another day.

The SD crowd is a treat. While waiting for my friends to join me I chatted with a lovely couple and their adult daughter who were visiting from Kansas. It turns out the parents stumbled on the SD parade a few years prior during their first trip to Nola. The wife (an Optometrist nearing retirement) tricked the husband into coming back on the same weekend and bringing their daughter so she could experience the fun. While he didn’t seem super-enthused, he also appeared to be a good sport about it. They looked as you would expect – affluent, mid-western, conservatively dressed, and mildly confused if they were in the right place for the parade. But they had the SD spirit of adventure and openness to whatever was coming their way. They told me how much they loved Carousel Bar and I encouraged them to check out the Elysian Bar as a place they might also enjoy. My friends arrived and I joined them across the street in the shade.

This brings me to the most important thing to understand about the SD parade. It is HOT. Like surface of the sun hot. You will sweat, you will likely dehydrate, you might overheat and need medical attention if you are not careful. If you choose to drink during this parade, you will need to be extremely intentional about your consumption to not get sick. Drink a bottle of water between each alcohol drink and think about finding a spot that will be close to a bathroom.

I consider SD to be a sensory nightmare in many ways. The heat and humidity will create gross textures on your skin and your hair will get plastered to your head from the sweat. Dress for comfort and temperature. It’s the French Quarter so remember closed toed shoes. Though I cannot smell anymore (accident in college, long story), the potential for gross smells is high – the French Quarter serves a lot of seafood and it’s hot. Though the city scrubs the streets each night and there is daily trash pickup, there is still potential for unpleasantness depending on where you are. You will likely be physically uncomfortable for this parade. There are not places to sit and this isn’t the kind of parade you can bring a bunch of folding chairs to. If you get there early enough you might be able to snag an outside table at one of the restaurants on the route but you won’t be able to both sit at the table and get to the front of the crowd for a close view of things.

Ok, have I scared you enough yet? After saying all of that – I really love the SD parade. You may physically suffer while watching but everyone around you is equally miserable and everyone’s spirit is delighted. The costumes are impressive, the energy that goes into creating this parade is inspiring, and I love turning out for a parade that the celebrates the uniqueness of New Orleans and queer culture.

Southern Decadence Costume and Bubbles!

I had a lovely chat with one of the marchers who got stopped in front of me for a few minutes. I used my hand fan (thanks to perimenopause I don’t leave home without it) to provide them with a breeze and was rewarded with a blue penis keychain for my kindness. The group of ladies next to me was celebrating a birthday and received lots of recognition and trinkets from those in the parade. I enjoyed myself so much that I barely took any pictures. The parade wrapped up and I treated myself to an iced fruity cocktail from a stall in the French Market and sat by the river for an hour or so to people-watch. Then I hopped in a rideshare to return to the bliss of my central air conditioning and puppies.

(Side note on scams in the French Quarter – if the Buddhist Monk tries to give you a bracelet, anyone tries to shine your shoes, or even asks you about your shoes, or if someone sketchy looking tries to put Mardi Gras beads over your head – just keep moving. These are well known scammers in the French Quarter who target tourists.)

Parade catches!

Keychain, sticker, and tiny tub of glitter. I also caught some glass beads that I forgot to add into the pic.